The John Ward column

[Jemisi]

There is still heaps of cash used in transactions. The electronic transfers work more often in theory than they do in practice.

[eugene]

Hmm, I don't think I have regularly carried cash in about 10 years.

[Jemisi]

You can buy stuff at the shops with cards but there are usually long waits while "computer says no"

[eugene]

You can buy stuff at the shops with cards but there are usually long waits while "computer says no"

This is in Zimbabwe presumably?

[Googly]

Today there were no bond notes or cash available at the banks! For some reason there's a temporary shortage of bond notes?
The financial crisis we are facing is monumental and if the government is not close to finding a resolution we are in huge trouble. We need a massive bail out by someone or to somehow join the Rand monetary union or we're coming to a grinding halt in the next couple of months. The army is demanding their salaries in USD and they need to ensure that happens or the plot will thicken. Most transactions are USD card transactions that I don't understand because its not our currency and the money doesn't actually exist. You can only transfer it internally unless you get a reserve bank allocation to externalise it, and that's becoming less and less likely unless you have banking connections. We are effectively using usd that doesn't exist!! Balances are being converted to bond notes that don't seem to have any value, so your money that didn't exist in the first place is now being converted into something even more meaningless, if that's at all possible. We rely almost completely on imports and nobody is going to willingly accept bond notes for them. If you accept plastic usd your money will be converted to bond notes by the banks? If there's a working monetary system that is going to evolve I'm not clever enough to see it.

[Jemisi]

You can buy stuff at the shops with cards but there are usually long waits while "computer says no"

This is in Zimbabwe presumably?

Yup. Cards work fine in the backwoods of Aus

[watermelon]

Googly you are like a whining woman. Us blacks always make a plan and come out on top, we will just barter. Mudhara Rupeni can lend us goats and vegetables from the farm to pay the players.

[Googly]

What are the goats for?

[watermelon]

Tinogotcha mbudzi paverandah, come and explain how we solve our economic problems. Do you drink Black Label?

[Googly]

I try to stay clear of "wife beaters" old chap, I've switched to Castle Light after my first marriage.
If I have to partake in traditional fare can you make it virgin halal or can I just bring a T bone to be safe?