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by Neil Manthorp, August 05 2014, 05:12

THE International Cricket Council (ICC) is proud if its 107 member nations, and rightly so. Of team sports, only soccer is played in more countries on earth than cricket, at least in a structured way, if not a professional one.

There are three categories of “Members” — four if you include those currently “suspended”. The cricket-loving Sultan of Brunei was once the world’s richest man and reportedly paid Brian Lara a cool $1m to give his son private coaching lessons for a day. Today, Brunei is suspended by the ICC along with Iran, Turkey and Malawi.

But it gets worse. What do the unlikely duo of Switzerland and Cuba have in common? Both have been expelled by the ICC! Tonga, too, can now concentrate on rugby since having its membership of the global cricket family revoked.

The junior members are the “Affiliates”, which number 59 and include some exotic and unlikely destinations, as you can imagine. The only two things the Cook Islands and Costa Rica may have in common is their vicinity on the ICC’s alphabetical list of members — and a cricket league just serious enough to call itself official. Myanmar and Russia are also Affiliates.

Then come the “Associates”, which number 38, many of whom will be familiar to cricket followers and some of whom have competed in World Cups — Ireland, the Netherlands, Kenya, Namibia and the fairytale achievers themselves, Afghanistan. Somehow, France, Oman and Thailand have also been upgraded to Associates.

And then, of course, there are the 10 countries with Test-playing status. Bangladesh play Zimbabwe once a year on average, and carry enough political clout to persuade someone else to visit or host them once a year. Zimbabwe is the genuine runt of the litter, surviving on less than every other nation spends on a single domestic tournament.

But the money dried up years ago and the game has been lurching from one crisis to the next funded by an ever-expanding overdraft facility. Even that has now come to an end. The visit by South Africa and Australia this month is supposed to provide enough income to keep a skeleton crew of players, coaches and administrators in the game until the next handout arrives from an ICC event.

The Test match should be the most one-sided on the international calendar this year, but sport — especially cricket — just doesn’t work like that.

The players have been netting with balls so old they literally fall apart. Many cannot afford new bats or boots and they are a very long way from having sponsors. One nationally contracted player lost 10kg in three months this winter because he had not been paid by Zimbabwe Cricket and had no money to eat, literally.

Zimbabwe Cricket hosted three incoming tours last year, each of them more costly than the next. They crashed its cash flow and ended any further prospect of international cricket, outside the Twenty20 World Cup. Until now. With a few days to go until the Test starts on Saturday, players remain at loggerheads with the employers over basic payment, match fees and medical insurance, which they do not have.

Some players are paid less than $1,000 a month — and that’s only if there is enough money in Zimbabwe Cricket that month to pay it.

South Africa’s cricketers will arrive in Harare on Wednesday following predecessors who have, by and large, been surly, sulky and spoilt. They have sledged their inferior opponents, complained about facilities and refused even to contemplate forming relationships off the field with young men desperate to make a name in a game that, like it or not, favours the privileged.

But Zimbabwe do sit at the head table of the game, they are our neighbours and the players, at least, dream of a return to the status of the mid-’90s as “everyone’s favourite underdog” and “potential giant killers”.

One nationally contracted player lost 10kg in three months this winter because he had not been paid by Zimbabwe Cricket and had no money to eat, literally.